Before And After

I just thought that I would give a little update on the Ironman side of things. For those of you interested you can view the “Ironman Training: God’s Proving Ground” link over there in the right hand column for a history of why I am doing this thing. Early on I was giving weekly updates. I realized that not many would actually be interested in that so I haven’t done much updating. I thought I would give a short recap here as I am now two weeks away from the race.

The first picture here is week 2. The second picture is week 24. Obviously, my hair is a bit longer. No it is not a Sampson thing. No I am not Elvis. And actually, the hair thing and the Ironman thing are not in any way connected. In fact, longer hair is more of an anti-Ironman thing. Many of my fellow athletes will have their entire bodies shaved. Not me. For one I will have on a wet suit for the swim. No need to shave for speed in the water as the hair will be covered. All the other athletes will be in wet suits too so they don’t need to shave for this reason either. Second, there is no evidence that shaving improves speed on the bike. The only real reason to shave for cycling is because it makes pulling off bandages and cleaning wounds easier if you crash. So shaving then seems like a self-fulfilling prophecy. Shave…crash. Shave…crash. Shave…crash. And since I do not plan on crashing, no need to shave. And third, let’s be honest. I am not in the group of dudes that will be competing for the win. The few seconds that shaving may save me will not matter at all. I will not be in a sprint at the finish for the win, wishing I had less hair holding me back. So I prefer to keep all my hair. As for my head, I have just for some time wanted longer hair so I am growing it out. Don’t worry, I will not get to the pony tail stage. A couple more inches is about all I will go I think. Admit it Bill. You are jealous.

So for the training update…..I am done with my long workouts as of last Thursday. I worked my way up to bike workouts of 100 miles, run workouts of 17 miles, swim workouts of 2.5 miles, and combined bike followed by run workouts (known in the triathlon community as a BRICK) of 5 hours. I am also 15 pounds lighter and am stronger. I have gathered all the equipment I will need and have my nutrition (Lorna Doone shortbread cookies) and hydration (Gatorade and water and Coke) strategy for race day locked down. I am now in a “taper” phase which includes workouts of much shorter duration but still at race intensity or slightly above race intensity. I will take about 4-5 days completely off the end of this week into early next week. Then I will get in some brief workouts in all three disciplines in Phoenix on the 10th, 11th, and 12th. We are driving out on the 8th and 9th. The race starts at 7 AM Phoenix time on April 13th. They are in the Mountain Time Zone but do not observe DST.

If you care to follow my progress, the race can be monitored via www.ironmanlive.com. Athlete tracking and web cams will be available for the entire race. My goal is to finish between 12-14 hours. Feel free to keep track if you like. Also feel free to call all the local hospitals in Phoenix after the race to find out which one I am at so you can send flowers.

Apocalypto – Part II

Apocalypto not only prompted the fear question. It also got me thinking about an item that I think I have mentioned on this blog before but have never devoted a post to it. I may have even discussed it with some of you who are reading. It continues to bonk itself around up in my head so I am going to expand on it here. It doesn’t have all that much to do directly with the story line of the movie but is more of a side issue.

The basic question is this: Are those people, in this case the Mayan tribes, doomed to hell just because they do not know what we know about God? Are those tribes, and other people like them, really just unlucky that they were not born into a day and age where they were wealthy white people and able to hear the name of Christ and because of not hearing that are doomed to hell? I have a hard time, a really hard time to be honest, understanding how a merciful and grace giving God who loves his creation and who is this very moment at work redeeming his entire creation would punish a soul of his creation for being unlucky. Does it even make sense that he would do that?

Maybe I am limiting God too much. Can’t he save anybody he wants to save? And doesn’t he make it obvious that he wants to save his entire creation? Could he have touched, in some way, those ancient Mayans and the American Indians and all of those people I grew up thinking were “pagan.” Could they have been relating to him in their own way, communicating with him, understanding him? Is he not simultaneously all over his creation reaching out to it and redeeming it? Why is it necessary to think that he is only redeeming his creation through wealthy white folks who speak English and come from Westernized cultures? Maybe we are not as important to this process as we have made ourselves out to be. Maybe he is not dependent on us doing this work. Maybe he is in the world doing his own thing in redeeming other souls in ways we do not even comprehend.

I suppose a discussion of the 7 theories of atonement is appropriate somewhere in here where I am bringing up the idea of redemption, but I am not sure where it fits. I will put it here. The only theory I was even aware of until the last year was number 1, and I am not so certain it is the most correct one. Maybe they are all correct in a way. I will list them here just for your reference.

1. Substitutionary Atonement – God’s wrath, directed at us because of our sin, could only be satisfied by the death of Jesus who replaced the OT sacrifices with his perfect self-sacrifice.
2. Ransom – Because of our sin we belong to Satan, and God buys us back with the death of Jesus, then turns the tables on Satan with the Resurrection.
3. Christus Victor – We are dead in our sins, destined for the grave, but Jesus’ death and resurrection triumphed over death itself, enabling us to be made alive with Christ.
4. Perfect Penitent – We are all in need of repentance. God will forgive us out of the goodness of his heart if we do, but we can’t really repent perfectly. We always hold back and always fall into sin again. Jesus is the perfect penitent in our place, and so secures our forgiveness. This is supposedly the favorite theory of CS Lewis.
5. Moral Influence – Jesus’ self-giving love, expressed in his death on the cross, leads us to love God and love others fully, giving our lives back to God.
6. Powerful Weakness – By becoming vulnerable and submitting to death on the cross, Jesus shows us God’s love for us, as well as the nature of His Kingdom.
7. Embodied Betrayal – Our sin is a betrayal of God, and he showed us that in the only way adequate, through his physical torture and death at our hands.

These are as presented in the Brian McLaren trilogy, and I found them written out in this fashion on Radical Congruency, www.radicalcongruency.com/20060423-7-theories-of- atonement. I think it is pertinent to the discussion here because it brings to the forefront the idea that we do not know God and his workings nearly as cleanly as we think we do. I had no idea that the atonement could be thought of in all these ways, but here they are. And how can one person with any absolute certainty know that his way of the 7 is the most right? He can’t. So couldn’t God be working in ways that we are not aware of? Do we really think we have God all figured out and neatly packaged in our systematic theologies?

The theories of atonement also relate to the discussion by bringing to mind the question of how much redemption does the work of Christ really do? No matter which of the 7 you subscribe to, does redemption start at the point of the cross? Or does the work on the cross reach back in time to the beginning? Or does the work of the cross reach out into the future infinitely? Will everyone be given a chance to chose The Creator at some point as CS Lewis suggests in The Great Divorce, which would truly make it for everyone, or do you have to be fortunate enough to hear the name of Christ while you are living in this physical dimension and chose it while here? Why do we limit God’s ability to redeem us to this physical aspect of our lives anyway? And you know what, maybe, just maybe, his work on the cross offers redemption to everyone at every place and at every time. I would sure like to think that it does.

So I think I will close with this. One of my in-laws recently made a statement that goes fairly close to this: The Bible is just an instruction book to tell you how to get to heaven. This was said in a very matter of fact manner as if this was core truth and that there wasn’t much point in considering it differently. Karmen was the one who was actually there when it was spoken, and she is the one that related it to me. But you know those situations where you have a good enough understanding of the people who were there that you can actually create in your mind what you imagine is exactly how it went down. This is that kind of situation so I have a pretty good idea of the way it did go down. This particular in-law grew up in the church in a specific denomination to which he remains typically unquestioningly devoted and believes wholeheartedly in what it says is truth. I don’t think he realized that he had in essence reduced the Bible to a series of hoops to jump through.

If God really did intend for the message of the gospel to be in essence a series of hoops that we all have to jump through to get to him, then he really does seem like the big bag police man in the sky who is waiting to strike me down when I sin and is looking for reasons to exclude me rather than include me. That is the image I came to know over the first 38 years of my life. But if God really does want a relationship with me as much as I now think he does, then it seems to me that he is looking for every possible excuse to redeem and include me and that it is much harder to get away from him then I once thought. I want to believe that this is the God I am coming to know.

Looking back over this piece it seems a little disjointed. Maybe some of it doesn’t fit together real well. But when I think about this, all of these ideas find their way into my head over and over again. I have trouble putting them together, but they are all connected in some way. I thought that writing them down may help me get a better on them. Maybe I will have to keep writing them down to get them organized. Sorry for the length. And Dad and Mom, don’t be scared.

Apocalypto

At the end of my last post I mentioned that I wanted to watch again the movie, Apocalypto. On that particular day, the boys were out of school and Karmen was out of town. It really ended up being a rather perfect day. I did my long run that morning for my Ironman training, 14 miles. Then the boys and I went for a haircut. Following that we went to Dillons to get more peanut butter and jelly and Izzie, our staples when caring for ourselves. Of course, Karmen usually fixes lavish and elaborate meals for us when she is home, much like Nigella from the cooking channel. But that is too much work for us so PBJ’s will keep us alive just fine. Then we went to Horton Hears a Who after which we got Freddies hamburgers and took them home to watch KU in the Big 12 Tournament. After that we watched Star Wars 3, The Revenge of the Sith, and then I put them to bed and stayed up until nearly 2 AM watching Apocalypto on my Apple MacBook while on my bed. It was a good day. I can’t ever remember getting in 3 movies in a single 24 hour period. So I slept late the next morning before going to the YMCA for a swim workout while the boys played in the family pool.

I like Apocalypto. But it is not a pretty movie. It is in fact a brutal movie. Brutal in the violence it shows, something Mel Gibson seems to really thrive on, and brutal in the message that it sends about humanity. I think it speaks generally to how cruel we humans can be to each other when we get going down a path of self-indulgence and comfort. One jungle tribe is focussed on family and relationships and community. Another more urbanized tribe is focussed on the marketplace and comfort and luxury and has turned human sacrifice and cruelty into a sport and a false belief that it is necessary to sustain their way of life. The more urbanized tribe basically ahnihilate the more humble tribes. How does that mirror us?

There is one line in the movie, early in the movie, that keeps coming back to me, and I find myself pondering the depth of its meaning. When we are still being introduced to the more rural tribe and what they are about, before the destroyers rip them out of their existence, one father says to his adult son, “Fear is a disease.” We soon witness the father die with courage and without fear as his son watches and much of the rest of the movie deals with the son’s battle against fear and how he overcomes it so save his own wife and son and newborn baby.

 So what do you think? Is fear a disease? Does it paralyze you? Does it paralyze us? Do we react to it too often? Is there really a healthy fear or are we just appeasing ourselves with that line? If there is a healthy fear, what is it of?

I think I believe that the father is right. Fear is mostly a disease.

Star Wars

I have two boys. They are 8 and 9 years old. So you can guess what they love. Star Wars. The first movie, the original first movie, came out when I was in the third grade. I didn’t see it in the theater. According to my church, that was an evil forbidden place. It wasn’t until I was in high school and VHS came out that I was able to see it for the first time. My dad, sister, and I trekked a mile through the snow on a snow day in Little Rock, AR, to the grocery store and a video store, and I finally saw it. The ethics of not being able to see it in the theater but it being OK to rent it on video tape is for another discussion altogether. Suffice it to say that I feel it is important to be consistent with standards, and this was not consistent. But I digress.

So Karmen is OOT this weekend, Wed through Sat, so us boys have been on a Star Wars binge. I have never seen the new 2nd and 3rd movies. My boys have. It was one of those things where I had been trying to hold out, them seeing it I mean, especially on the 3rd one because I had heard that it was a little dark (if you know anything about the story you will pardon the pun), but they had seen it at relatives houses over holidays and lake houses over vacations with friends. So I needed to catch up, and catch up I have. I wouldn’t claim to be some fanatic who will show up at 7, 8, and 9 in costume (if George Lucas decides to cash in again by adding to his empire (again pardon the pun)), but I do think the story line is pretty darn good.

Well tonight we watched 3, The Revenge of the Sith, and I noticed a very interesting thing. Actually a biblical thing. Maybe I am not putting out anything new here with this observation, but I thought it worth a post. There is truth and good all over the place in this world, even in things that seem on the surface to be bad, and I believe that in these places where truth is evident, God is working there. Well there is some solid truth in the Star Wars story. From this point on if you don’t know the story, you may be lost with what I have to say.

Anakin Skywalker is believed by the Jedi, the keepers of the good side of The Force, to be a manifestation of an ancient prophesy which predicts and individual to come along that stabilizes The Force. But it becomes apparent through the first 2 movies in the series that Anakin is a troubled soul who is filled with fear of various sorts. He has lost his mother which was devastating for him, and it fuels a low grade anger within him along with a fear of losing those close to him. He marries, which is against the Jedi code, keeps the marriage secret, and then his wife becomes pregnant. As with his mother, he begins to have nightmares which predict his wife’s death during childbirth. The Sith, the keepers of the dark side of The Force, recognize Anakin’s fears and use them to turn him against the Jedi. He ends up destroying all the Jedi except Yoda and his own master, OB1 Kenobi. The Sith fuel fear and hate in Anakin and lie to him about the fact that by learning the dark side of The Force, he will be able to save his wife from death. When this doesn’t occur and she does die in childbirth, his hate and fear come full circle and he is left with no other option than to continue on in the path he has chosen. He becomes Darth Vader and is eventually killed by Luke Skywalker, his own son, who when he comes of age helps resurrect the Jedi under the apprenticeship of the exiled Yoda and OB1 Kenobi. That is what the original three movies, now 4, 5, and 6, are all about. It really is an amazing story line.

What I noticed is this, and Yoda even says it in the movie: Anakin is not able to let go of the things he loves. His fear of losing the things and people he loves it what leads to his turn to evil and eventual destruction. And I think this is exactly what Christ is talking about when he talks about he who wants to save his live must lose it. He is telling us that we have to hold on to things in this life loosely and not let possession of them consume us. Our love for God and yearning to relate to him must be the thing that consumes us just like the Jedi are consumed with an intimate knowledge of and harmony with the good side of The Force. We, like the Jedi, cannot be consumed with the things of this world as they can be taken in an instant, and an unwillingness to lose them will destroy us.

You may think I am crazy, but that message is in there. I don’t have any idea what George Lucas believes, and probably most would say that Star Wars is more “New Age-ish” than anything, but there are plenty of Christlike ideals in there, and my boys and I had some good discussion tonight about good versus evil.

Well, now I feel like watching Apocalypto by myself. Definitely not a kids movie. May The Force be with you.

A Rehash of Sorts

I posted a few months ago several times on the idea that we don’t have to earn anything from God. We can’t. We aren’t strong enough or good enough to do it. Recognizing this, Christ came to earn it for us. And that brings up a huge mess of stuff such as the different theories of atonement and whether or not everyone is eventually saved no matter what they do in this life. But I want to leave those questions and discussions for other days and focus on the earning.

This emphasis on Lent at Wheatland has been very interesting to me since I have never done it before (other than get the ashes when I was in Catholic school and that was mainly just because it was a novelty to me). Pastor Paul talked last week about Jesus predicting his death and understanding what he was about to face. I think his understanding of what he was about to face shows in his behavior in the temple. While I believe he was in complete control of himself, I also believe that he felt pressed and that he was wild-eyed and that he was in a way preparing himself for the battle that lay ahead of him. Paul went on to talk about how something has to die in order to be resurrected, how hard times and struggles have to be had before new life and peace can come. I am in the middle of those hard times right now and am eager for the new life. Maybe I will post on that sometime too but not here.

As I read the passages that we discuss at Wheatland each week, I find myself reading on past where we stop for the teaching time. One of those times when I was reading ahead I noticed a very peculiar little verse. It is John 6:29, and I like the way my New Living Translation says it. Jesus has just fed the 5,000 and walked on water. People who had witnessed those events stayed around all night for another chance to see and talk to Christ. The next day they searched for and found him and asked all sorts of questions. Somebody pipes up and says that he wants to perform God’s works too. Jesus responds with verse 29, “This is the only work God wants from you: Believe in the one he has sent.”

I see so many people trying to earn something from God, and I used to be in that group. I used to be very deep into that group. I didn’t understand that God loved me. I didn’t understand what grace was all about. I was trying to jump through all the hoops to hope to make it into the club. But now I just want to relate to him the way he wants me to relate to him, and what I think what he wants is for me to quit trying and doing and just know him. That feels peaceful to my troubled soul.

5,000

At church last Saturday evening, our topic was Jesus feeding the 5,000. We looked at the passage in John chapter 6 that describes this event. Our pastor pointed out that this was a different supernatural event compared to some of Jesus’ others. Many of those dealt with healing the sick or raising the dead in the case of Lazarus. The point is partly obvious and very practical with those acts. Someone or some family was restored. But the case of the 5,000 is different. It wasn’t something that had to be done. It wasn’t a situation that demanded a miracle. Why did he do it?

Paul explained that he believes is was an act of “radical hospitality,” and I think he is right. Jesus has set an example for us and how hospitable we are to be to those around us. He didn’t make sure that there were no homosexuals in the group or that no one was a drug dealer or an alcoholic. He just fed them. He didn’t care if they were pro-life, pro-Obama, anti-Hillary, pro-Iraq, athletes, slobs, hairy, smooth, tall, short, Nazarene, Catholic, Evangelicals, dog-lovers, cat-haters, etc. He just fed them. I don’t see any roll call or statistics gathered about the make up of the group or the type of people that were there. He just fed them. How awesome is that.

But I have been thinking about a different part of the passage that never seems to be included in the discussion. I can’t remember one single time that anything has been taught to me about these words. I can’t even remember being in a discussion about them. They are verses 5 – 8 in John 6. I will reproduce them here so you don’t have to scramble for your bible. From the New Living Translation:

“Jesus soon saw a huge crowd of people coming to look for him. Turning to Philip, he asked, ‘Where can we buy bread to feed all these people?’ He was testing Philip, for he already knew what he was going to do. Philip replied, ‘Even if we worked for months, we wouldn’t have enough money to feed them!’ Then Andrew, Simon Peter’s brother, spoke up.”

Seems to me like an odd little thing to include in this story. Jesus singles out Philip, as John says, testing him. Philip responds by saying basically that there is no way we can buy bread for all of these people because we wouldn’t have enough money if we saved our wages for months.

So I have so many questions and no answers that really make sense yet. Why Philip? What was the test? Did he pass or not? Why did Andrew butt in? Maybe Philip wasn’t done saying what he wanted to say. Why doesn’t John clarify this for us? It would seem that if Jesus wanted him to say, “Well you are God so just snap your fingers and poof bread out of the air,” then he failed. But what if Jesus was looking for the logical and practical answer? What if he wanted Philip to understand that he was responsible for himself, that God is not just some cosmic genie who we can rub and get a wish granted? If that is what Jesus wanted then maybe he passed. What am I supposed to take from this little blip in the story? Does Jesus intentionally test me like he seemed to be doing to Philip? If so what am I to make of that?

These are honest questions, and I admit that I have no answers yet. What do you all think?

Rock on! 6 weeks left to Ironman Arizona 2008.