I had something a little different happen to me yesterday. I’m working nights this week so am sleeping from about 7 AM to about 2-2:30 PM. As I woke up I lay there praying. Into The Wild has caused me to re-examine how I view people. Chris McCandless saw every encounter with another person as a moment in time that he should savor, that he shouldn’t miss a moment, that he could be helped, that he could help. I haven’t really done a very good job of seeing other people this way.
I am a physician so come into contact with people of all walks of life regularly. Over the 15 or so years I’ve been doing this, I’ve become jaded. To be honest most encounters to me seem to be a nuisance. I seem to be irritated that people are sick sometimes. Of course sometimes the workload is just overwhelming and I feel like it is crushing me, but even in the slow times patients and sickness have equaled nuisance. I’ve been praying for some time, more since my interest in this story has been rekindled, that God would help me see people as Christ sees them, opportunities to offer grace, to love, to learn. My hope has been that maybe even I could come to a place where I look forward to those encounters as opportunities to be Christ, to spread his kingdom a little bit more, to be involved in his work in the world.
As I was praying these things, I felt the darkness in the room close around me in a comforting way and that merged into a vision of Christ holding me in his arms, like a lover would hold his beloved, like Karmen holds me. I had a sense of peace and happiness. I also had a sense of what in the world is going on here and tried to pull back but felt Christ reassure me and continue to hold me. It all lasted about 2-3 minutes.
I’m not quite sure what to make of it. It sure felt real. I’m going to think it was real. I can’t get it off my mind. It is just the thing I needed too as I start another night of admitting patients to various hospitals. Probably some will think I need to talk to a certain kind of professional.
I’d love to hear your thoughts.