My lovely wife posted on peace awhile back. One of our mentors at one time suggested that the strange feeling we were having was peace, that we hadn’t had much of it and therefore didn’t know what it was. I like that. And I think it’s right.
I haven’t posted for awhile because I just haven’t felt all that inspired. And I haven’t felt the need to be inspired. My soul feels quiet, not in a bored or in an anxious or in a clamoring for more inspiration way. It is in an, “I’m good,” way. It just feels good to be. To exist. To see what each moment and each day holds. I have tried to do some meditation, some focus on breathing, some focus on God. And I have liked it. It feels weird as heck to do nothing, but I am learning to do it. I don’t know if my core has felt contentment before, but I think I am feeling it now.
So I am just resting in what I have right now. No rushing. No pushing. No fitting square pegs in round holes. No manipulating God. No looking for “blessings in disguise to make me healthy, rich, and wise” (Derek Webb in Wedding Dress). I’m just being. And I like it. And I am reading for enjoyment instead or reading to learn something right now. I felt I needed a break from deep stuff. So I’m reading The Brothers Karamazov and have Catch 22, Beowulf, Crime and Punishment in the wings (maybe not super light stuff but very interesting and certainly different that what I usually am reading).
So no other big things to say. Just checking in. And I can’t even remember what Ironman Training week I am on. But I am ahead of schedule (2.5 hours on the bike, 2 miles in the pool, 11 miles on the run) and this is a cut-back week. Rock on. Peace out. Hang 10.