As many of my regular readers know, I am in the beginning stages of training for my second Ironman race. The race date is Nov 22 in Phoenix, AZ. The rest of my season is geared towards getting me ready for that race. I am racing in the Kansas 70.3 (Half-Ironman) in June and the Redman 70.3 in OKC in September. I may do the Pikes Peak Ascent in August but haven’t decided on that one yet.

Training is going well. My week is oulined like this:

Sun: Rest

Mon: Long Run, TaeKwonDo

Tue: Yoga, Swim

Wed: Bike Intervals, Leg Strength Routine, TaeKwoDo

Thur: Run Intervals, Upper Body Strength Routine

Fri: Long Bike, Swim, TaeKwonDo

Sat: Combined Bike/Run (BRICK), Upper Body Strenght Routine

I have been trying this schedule out for a couple of weeks and feel that it will work out well. It incorporates interval training which works on speed, core strenghting and balance, general strength training, transition from bike to run, and endurance training in each discipline which is the key to successful completion of this length of race. The one thing I haven’t incorporated which would be beneficial is massage which I know JohnT thinks I should place higher on the list. I am tracking my caloric intake and expenditure both to make sure I am getting adequate nutrition and to trim down about 10 pounds or so to be at a better racing weight. Also, I am getting 7-8 hours of sleep most nights and working in a brief nap as often as I can even if it is just 30 min on my office floor over the lunch hour. I think this plan is good overall.

One thing that I am noticing about my life is that other than my wife and family and being at home with them, triathlon is the thing that brings me peace, contentment, happiness. My occupation does not do that for me. In some ways that feels twisted to me because it seems like the American way is to “love” your job. But I don’t. I don’t love my job. I love triathlon. Not my job.

And then I feel guilty. I’m a doctor. I’m supposed (I know, Dr. Paul. Bad word) to care about my job. I spent all this time and money and work learning how to be this thing. And all it is is a job. I don’t love it. I do like helping people. But I don’t enjoy doing it so much in this way. I’m not sure why that is. I think that it is because of the way the medical system works. The expectation is that you will work yourself to death, be available all the time, sacrifice your own health and wellbeing, and relish it. And I am not that. I refuse to be that. So I am continually battling against the current. The thing I love is triathlon, and I am not about to sacrifice that for my job.

I recognize that my job allows me to afford to be able to participate in triathlon. Is it OK for me to look at my job that way? Is it enough for me to just go do this work when I am not all that fond of it because it allows me to do the things that I do love? Can I be at peace doing that? I want to be. I want it to work that way.

I don’t know why a lot of me seems so unsettled these days. I’m ready for that to end.


5 responses to “Me

  1. Doug

    As you know, sometimes healing takes time. It can be itchy and uncomfortable. I get a feeling that part of what you are leaving behind will include many ways of thinking, which may include how you view your “work” in life. As my sensei and Mentor used to say to me “The way lies in training” :)

  2. woooooo… good routine! i can never keep a routine save for doing my little “devotionals” which don’t look or really resemble any others in the christian tradition ;-)

    for every current, there has to be something going against it.. whether it be salmon or just rocks.. keep rawk’n out! change will come.

    now i need to start doing yoga again.. i freak’n LOVE yoga! good stuff dude.. thanks for share’n, i love get’n to know ya.

  3. John. Thanks for the reminder. You are right, healing takes time. My problem is being used to figuring out the answers NOW. My patience vein is very short sometimes. Then I get to tired of waiting so I then just decide I am going to get if figured out right now, which I can’t do, and then I get myself further into the forest by analyzing more. Tonight, I just feel like saying, “Enough,” and just existing. Maybe that is best for a bit.

    OK. The first time you mentioned your “sensei” I thought you might be joking. Now I don’t think that you are so much. Tell me a bit about that. I completely agree with and love the quote. Peter Rollins in “How Not To Speak of God” says much the same thing, and I believe it to be true. Just have to live it too.

  4. My mentor was my Sensei. I trained with him for roughly 2 years. Very wise man. He’s 52 this year and he did 26 chin ups. Crazy tough both mentally and physically. I also wrestled for 14 yrs. I was relatively good at one time lol. By the way I think you would excel if you included body work(massage).

  5. Among the unheathiest professions is the medical field – for the very reasons you cited. Nurses are leaving faster than schools produce them. Similiar co-dependent problem in all the helping professions.

    Asking any profession to “be” our core purpose is not likely to work. If we use it for our purpose, what do we do when we can’t perform? Purpose has to be larger than a role or a profession. Living “on purpose” can be done at work, at home, on vacation, when we’re well or sick, when I’m young or old. It be independent of circumstances or we live at risk of losing purpose.

    That’s why we have PVL :) We can’t define purpose for you but it can give you some tooks for your process.

    From a confident, loving, humble man who encourages, instills and empowers grace beyond shame in himself and others..

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