I tend to get too many books going at once. A friend of mine from Seattle suggested that I read a book called Killing Sacred Cows. It is a financial book. I have read some of those in the past but not for awhile as they are not what all that interesting to me considering all the other philosophical stuff out there, but my friend used one of the magic words in describing it, “contrarian.” I really love contrarian, not in a rebellious sense but in a re-examining sense, looking at things differently, considering traditional ideas differently (much like Pagan Christianity), and examing for truth. And after just reading the introduction I can tell I will not be disappointed.
The author, Garret Gunderson, in the intro, among other things, discuses passion. The terminology he uses is “Soul Purpose” and defines it this way: “…your unique set of talents, abilities, and passions applied productively and effectively, making tremendous impact upon the world and bringing the highest levels of joy and fulfillment for you and everyone you touch. It’s the mission you were born for….” That’s good stuff. And it speaks to me. It does this because I have not ever really felt like I was there in that place of my Soul Purpose. Maybe that is one reason why I am always searching so much, doing something new so often, changing all the time. Maybe I’m, in the end, trying to discover that place.
Briefly, I decided on medicine in junior high because of a knack for science and math and fixing things. And I cannot remember anybody ever suggesting anything else to me. But after being in medicine for 18 years with 10 of that out on my own away from school and in 3 different venues, it is rather obvious to me that I am not doing my passion. I have found a niche where it is livable, where I can tolerate it, but I haven’t found what I love. I can recall probably 10 instances in the last 10 years where I had an interaction with a patient that I would say I truly loved. I will bet that the cumulative time of those 10 encounters is about 2 hours. Out of 10 years. 2 hours.
I don’t want to get to the end of my career and retire because I finally can afford to quit doing the thing that I got stuck doing, the thing that I didn’t like, the thing that I at times hated. Does that mean that I just throw medicine away? I don’t know to be honest. I have a lot of knowledge and time invested in it and am fairly good at it much of the time. But I don’t want to miss my passion because I was too afraid to venture beyond the traditional, too afraid to consider how I might blend this thing and the parts of it that I like with another thing, whatever that thing is.
I have known this stuff in my heart for a long time. My friend from Seattle called me a few days ago and mentioned that I had been on his mind a great deal. He thinks that I might have something to offer his company and suggested that I read this book. We have a meeting via a teleconference scheduled for April 7th. I don’t want to be delusional about my current place, making it worse than it is. It’s not bad. I’m comfortable. But I don’t want to miss out on discovering my passion, because while I am comfortable, I am not thriving. I am not in my passion.
There a few things that I can name in life that I love, and maybe they will come out in the discussion that emanates forth in the comments if that happens with this post. Thanks for reading.