As some of my posts probably make clear, I really want to live life simply. I think we all do so much to make life so complicated when it doesn’t have to be so hard. I want to ride life like a wave (surfing happens to be one of those things I’ve discovered that puts me in touch with the basics and leads me to God), not worrying so much about living up to someone else’s standards, not worrying so much about making money, not worrying so much about climbing some ladder someone else tells me is important, not worrying so much about how others are judging me, not worrying so much about what others are thinking of me, not taking my personal worth from my job, etc.
Instead I want to live my own life. I want to be free from baggage that I do not need to carry. I want to wander. I want to experience life. I want to finish an Ironman, maybe two or three or ten. I want know what I believe and why. I want to know Jesus in the way he wants me to know him instead of in the way someone else’s theology tells me I should. I want to be full of emotion and passion and adventure. I want to live by the spirit in freedom and moderation. I want to live life with a sense of joy and peace and wonder, not a sense of weight and oppression and obligation. I don’t want to be scared to talk to people. I want to be genuinely humble. I want my hair to be on the longer side and kind of wild (which will probably never happen with my type of hair, and I’m not about to spend an hour flat-ironing it every morning (update here: I am spending about 5 min flat-ironing)).
I’ve heard a rumor that is floating around among some people who know me, or at least some people who think they know me. That rumor is that I am having a “mid-life crisis.” I don’t really like that terminology because it carries a lot of negative baggage with it. If having a “mid-life crisis” means that you get to your 30’s and take an honest look at where you’ve been and where you are going and try to get rid of all the crap that weighs you down but hang on to the stuff that lifts you up, then I guess I’m guilty of having the crisis. But I don’t for a second think that this is a negative thing I’m going through. It is a freeing thing, and people can call it what they want. I don’t care. I just know that I am in a better place than I used to be with God and myself and my wife and my life. And I’m staying on this road. I am becoming and uncluttered soul.